"Is There a Snooze Button for Her Biological Clock?"

Hi, I'm in desperate need of some advice. I am a 26 year old man who has been dating a 36 year old woman for about 5 months.I am very concerned about the age difference and what that will mean for us down the road. Just last week we broke up and it has been killing me. I really like this girl and I want to be with her, but the age thing is just a 24/7 nagging issue in the back of my mind. We split up because she is wanting to be in a relationship with someone that will in a few years materialize into a family and having kids. I am terrified of this. I want a family and kids, but i'm 26 and thinking about that happening in the next couple of years scares the hell out of me. On the other hand, I really do not want to lose her, she is wonderful in every way, and though we are 10 years apart we are on most of the same playing fields, intellectually, physically, professionally, etc. I have been in only 3 relationships that have lasted more than a few months, and have dated many girls, and this is the first one that has ever meant something to me, the short of it is, I have fallen for her and I have been down and out since we split up. I need some objective advice. Do I try to get her back or do I just move on and accept that our age difference is just to much to overcome. Thanks in advance for the advice.

I probably have no idea what i'm talking about.
Now, with that said, here is my objective advice:

If you were going to change your mind about wanting to be a father in the next couple years, that probably would have happened shortly after you broke up. Those all-or-nothing moments usually have a way of bringing out some surprising compromises.

So that leads me to believe you are genuinely not ready to settle down and start a family with this woman. Which is totally fine, and pretty much expected. It's also not your fault, just like it's not her fault that she IS ready.

I would try to be grateful that you came to this realization early enough that you can both walk away without baggage, cut your losses, and do your best to move on.

***TheGivingTree

PS-- The people who know you best (parents/siblings/best friends) are always going to be some of the best judges of whether or not you're ready for a family, just in case you were having second thoughts.

"Am I Christian Yet?"

I've grown up going to a christian church and school and I pray everyday but i've never felt God's presence before... I try to have faith and seek him but it's hard when I don't feel he's there, and I feel like there's a hole in my life, and I feel lonely, but I just don't feel like i'm a christian even though I want to be.

How do I become a christian even though i've already been praying and going to church and have seeked him but don't feel anything?

You won't wake up one day and have a halo over your head just because you prayed for it. You don't feel God like you feel sunshine or a breeze, I'm sorry if someone made you think that's how it works. People exaggerate.

Church is supposed to be a religious experience. The community, the rituals, the songs, all that stuff is supposed to make you feel good and holy, and make you want to act accordingly. Well, that works for some people, but there's much more to God than scripture.

Try this: Find yourself a quiet tree, turn your cell phone off, close your eyes for a minute and breathe. After you calm down, you should take a moment to comprehend how small you are compared to the tree. Reflect on how the tree was probably there before you were born and will probably be there after you are dead. Just like the tree, we came from the earth. Even as enormous as the earth is, it is still very tiny compared to the sun (which is just one of nearly infinite other stars) ...and yet we are all made up of the same microscopic little elements, sharing this moment in time together, coexisting.

After all of that sinks in, get up and go back to your daily life. Realizing that the day-to-day problems are insignificant in the grand scheme of things, carrying with you the idea that loving the world is the least we can do, living your life as a good person becomes a necessity rather than a chore... and THAT is how praying and church and feeling God is supposed to make you feel.

"Stop, Drop, and Move to Costa Rica"

Ok...so I'm with someone that I KNOW i want to spend my life with! It's the perfect relationship with the most amazing guy. Everything up to this point has been flawless between us. The other day he and I were talking and started joking about just running away together to some island where we can get away from the hustle and bustle and drama of everyday life here in the states. Day by day this joke became more and more serious and at this point, the joke is no more. We have both spent countless amounts of time looking online for places and jobs and whatnot in our dream destination, Costa Rica. Am I crazy to drop life as I know it and move to a very far away place with him?? More so, am I crazy for doing this at the young age of 22?!?! (keeping in mind, he's ten yrs older and very well off)

thanks, 22 yr old male =)

Yes, this is crazy. But you realize it's crazy so that makes it a little better.

Personally, I wouldn't do it. Once you move past the romance of running away, you're left with the reality of your decision: Do you speak Spanish? Can you support yourself in a foreign country? Will you be safe? How will your family react to your eloping? What happens if things don't work out between you two?

But here's the good news: you're not me. So I can tell you to go for it. You are young enough to make a reckless decision like this and not regret it down the road, It might even be your only chance to do something like that. Plus, the U.S. economy is shitty right now, so you won't be missing much. There is a chance this could be the best decision of your life.. just be smart about it. Voice your concerns before you both make the decision. Talk about the anticipated problems and the roadblocks, get it all out in the open so that when problems come up, they aren't taboo.

Costa Rica is beautiful. If you do it, send pictures.

"Can I Date Your Ex?"

I've been friends with this guy for a while now and as time passes I like him more and more as something other than a friend. Things would be easy if we could actually date but that isn't going to happen because he recently ended a relationship and I am friend with his ex as well. How do I separate my friendship with him and my romantic feeling for him without hurting our friendship?

Quite the pickle you're in... It's amazing how many people there are in the world and yet we still end up being territorial of the people we've dated.

There is no brilliant solution to this one, but as a general rule of thumb, I think that if your friend is the one that ended the relationship, their ex is free game. One man's trash is another man's treasure. If, however, they had a bad breakup, or your friend was dumped by this guy and is not over him, you need to lay off.

Your situation seems to be a little more complex, though. First of all, you would be catching this guy on the rebound. He's going to need some time to himself before he is going to be ready to start a relationship with you, so I wouldn't rush anything.

Both people need to understand that you're in a tough position because you can't "take sides," but you also have to be completely upfront about your intentions. Let this guy know you're still going to be friends with his ex, and explain to your friend that you have feelings for this guy. The only other alternative is keeping your relationship a secret until things settle down.

Be prepared for one or both to throw a fit for a while, but if they're true friends, they will work through it. It is possible and pretty healthy to have a relationship AND separate friends.

"Prerequisite For Love"

So me and my ex just broke up last thursday. We were fine but apparently around prom he started to get bored... but he failed to talk with me about his problem. Now we are done... but i have faith that i can get him back. I just have to get him to fall in love with me again. He is chasing after this girl who does not care about him and leaving me who does. What can i do to make him like me again? How can i pump up the excitement and make him think im not boring?

You know how some classes in school require prerequisites? There are things you have to learn BEFORE you are ready to move to the next level?

Well, relationships are a lot like that, too. A lot of times we have exactly what we want, but because we haven't learned that we want it, we take it for granted.

Your relationship, for example. This boy is wasting his time on a girl that isn't interested in him because he hasn't learned to appreciate having someone who actually cares about him. Right now he's more interested in the chase than being happy.

Conveniently, the solution to getting him back and letting him go are the same one: move on. Once you understand that he just can't appreciate you until he learns his lesson on his own in his own time, you'll be able to focus on your own feelings and your own life, maybe even find another person who IS ready to be with you.

The best thing you can do is distract yourself with something else until you're over it. You'll know it worked when both of you are happy. Or you're happy and he's cry-babying about missing you.

"Curiosity Got The Cat Pregnant"

16/f.

Are there other ways to get pregnant besides having vaginal sex?

My boyfriend and I were messing around. Clothes were on. And I didn't know if possibly his sperm could go through clothes. What if he fingered me and had his sperm on his finger? Could I get pregnant then?

I know that abstinence is 100% safe way of not getting pregnant. But I'm just curious of other ways someone could get pregnant besides vaginal sex. Please and thanks :)

Umm, yes sperm can go through clothes. but they would have to be so saturated that it would be leaking out the other side. With the clothes on, you've got practically no risk, but i wouldn't recommend using boxer briefs instead of a condom.

and yes, you could get pregnant if the boy that was fingering you put sperm on his finger. I don't know why he would do that, but there's your answer.

So to recap: if there is nothing keeping his fluids from your fluids, you COULD get pregnant. It's highly unlikely, but entirely possible. and yes abstinence is 100% safe, but you're not abstaining, so that doesn't apply to you. Use a condom or a dental dam and you've got 99.8%, which is as safe as you're going to get unless you stop touching each other.

For more essential health information they wont teach in most schools, go to: http://www.hiv.va.gov/vahiv?page=sex-condomtips