Hi, I'm in desperate need of some advice. I am a 26 year old man who has been dating a 36 year old woman for about 5 months.I am very concerned about the age difference and what that will mean for us down the road. Just last week we broke up and it has been killing me. I really like this girl and I want to be with her, but the age thing is just a 24/7 nagging issue in the back of my mind. We split up because she is wanting to be in a relationship with someone that will in a few years materialize into a family and having kids. I am terrified of this. I want a family and kids, but i'm 26 and thinking about that happening in the next couple of years scares the hell out of me. On the other hand, I really do not want to lose her, she is wonderful in every way, and though we are 10 years apart we are on most of the same playing fields, intellectually, physically, professionally, etc. I have been in only 3 relationships that have lasted more than a few months, and have dated many girls, and this is the first one that has ever meant something to me, the short of it is, I have fallen for her and I have been down and out since we split up. I need some objective advice. Do I try to get her back or do I just move on and accept that our age difference is just to much to overcome. Thanks in advance for the advice.
Now, with that said, here is my objective advice:
If you were going to change your mind about wanting to be a father in the next couple years, that probably would have happened shortly after you broke up. Those all-or-nothing moments usually have a way of bringing out some surprising compromises.
So that leads me to believe you are genuinely not ready to settle down and start a family with this woman. Which is totally fine, and pretty much expected. It's also not your fault, just like it's not her fault that she IS ready.
I would try to be grateful that you came to this realization early enough that you can both walk away without baggage, cut your losses, and do your best to move on.
***TheGivingTree
PS-- The people who know you best (parents/siblings/best friends) are always going to be some of the best judges of whether or not you're ready for a family, just in case you were having second thoughts.
